new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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