i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
