Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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