im drinking this country out of the recession.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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