I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
a search helicopter?!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
