Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
