I CAN MOONWALK!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
