Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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