Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
