She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
