but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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