textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Less talking, more tequila
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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