This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
