i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
