Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
