I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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