so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
