I saw his package. It spoke to me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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