She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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