Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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