I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
