you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
