Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
