You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
