im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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