he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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