but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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