i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
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