apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you didnt know i had herpes?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
