nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
