she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
