The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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