She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
