I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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