I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
