I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
