its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
