Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
