Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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