Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
