i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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