Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
