My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
