There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
