I am puke
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the day after is always just damage control
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
