Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
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