someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
