And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
