She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
