I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
