Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
